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Thursday, 7 May 2009


It's a lovely name for an educational centre which aspires to create new students from the ashes of their pasts. These people are only in their teens and so often their pasts have been worthy of a good bonfire that they deserve a place, safe from further scorches.

Okay, that was probably an over the top slushy, intro....but I had had it up to my eyebrows by lunchtime today and did what most of them do if they don't like it and walked out. I was heartily sick and tired of being insulted, ignored, treated like a piece of sh-t. I was on my way to the Principal to inform her about the bad behaviour of a couple of girls and went past the front door. I thought to myself........I can go home through that door! So in the end I went to inform the Principal that I intended to do just that. We sat down and talked it through. Yes! I am appreciated. The abuse is in fact a form of communication and signifies that I am on their radar and not hated and loathed as they successfully attempt to make me feel.

I shall return for another dose tomorrow. I don't give up easily but I am wondering if this is the way for me.

There are no pics with this because I still have not had my replacement Hewlett Packard camera from the Camera Shop in Darlington. I am getting a bit narked by that!!!

Everything else is going really well and my dashingly dark eyelashes (dyed again this evening by darling Debbie) are fluttering, the house purchase is moving ahead, the job will be fine and I'm an expert at moving house by now. Tigger is a happy cat. Dave is working and happy about driving enormous articulated trucks about the place. We shall gather in France in August with Trish etc .....Good Stuff All Round

Cheers Gillian


chillsider said...

I worked in schools and units like Phoenix house for nearly 20 years. I think I enjoyed it, and the kids, because I still remember how it felt to be an angry and resentful adolescent. So I feel great affection for these new versions of myself [ego. I know] and love their faces and reactions they accept that i actually like them, if not the things they do.
I think if you have that channel within yourself you can contect and support, if you have different empathies you probably can't.
If you can, try and just love the poor kid inside the insolence who feels rudeness is their only protection from rejection. They get their retaliation in first I'm afraid.
I found that before such kids/young people can hear anything we say they need to feel we actually like them, as they certainly don't like themselves. And as they are only hurt kids they are easy to love.
If it doesn't work for you then don't feel you have failed, it's like gardening some plants you have success with and some just don't respond to you.
Don't stay if it doesn't work for you as you will get damaged emotionally and that is no good to anyone.

carol said...

I'm very glad to hear the backdrop to work is going well Gillian. You'll need a secure base to go home to!
I wouldn't have the self-confidence or a strong enough sense of self-worth to deal with it. I understand the 'if you can love them they'll feel it' but it's still necessary to have a barrell of belief in oneself to weather the well-aimed barbs IMO.

Heide said...

The students I work with are only 6, 7 and 8 years old and some of them already could blow adults out of the water with bad experiences. I routinely deal with little ones reporting sexual abuse, beatings, being locked in closets, etc. They are labelled as having "learning disabilities" but out of all of my students only 2 truly have these afflictions, the rest suffer from bad home lives. It's horrendous. With these students I have all the patience in the world. There is one however who is nothing more than an incorrigible brat. After spending times with all of them and having interactions with family members it's easy to spot the difference (his parents are rude too). Anyway, the biggest problem sometimes is remaining steady for them and trying to not become too personally involved... I suck at the latter. Anyway, hugs and good wishes to you.

keewee said...

It is hard not to take personally all the mean and unkind things some kids do and say. I have been a teacher's helper in the past, so I know how the kids can be.
I love the tag system I have for my email, I just went back to check what I had forgotten, and there was a tag for your blog telling me to put it on my sidebar. When you grow older, reminders are a good thing. *grin*